womanbecomescow:

everybody here wants to be choked and get spat on but 90% of you can’t even order a fuckn happy meal without SHAKING

spockoandjimjim:

If your vegan “activism” involves holocaust comparisons you owe me a $50 Amazon gift card and a 2,000 word essay explaining why you think Jews are comparable to cattle
Goyim reblog (esp. if you’re vegan)

lizardvvizard:

chazkuangshi:

ephemeral-lightning:

chazkuangshi:

“I’ve NEVER. Eaten a DONUT. In my ENTIRE LIFE. And I’m NOT. About to start NOW.”

-Crazy customer I had today, upon being offered a complimentary donut

Why is this a real thing that happened in the real world what’s the meaning of this

I’m just gonna copy paste the story here from discord because honestly the whole story is worth hearing

so lady comes through drive thru.
“Hi what can I get for you?”
“A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese.”
“A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese, sure no problem, can I get you anything else today?”
“No”
“Alright, you can pull up”
and I just hear this quiet disgrunted “ ‘Please’ ?”

I’m like uhhhhh, was that even directed at me, I don’t know, I don’t know how to respond to that so I just ignore it like I didn’t hear it. I go up to the window and see this woman, which she honestly looked like a tomato with messy gray hair. Before I have the window halfway open I see her roll her eyes at me so I’m like oh boy here we go, time to put on the stupid sweet customer voice

“Hi how are you today?”

She hands me the money for her bagel and goes “Just a tip. It’s ‘Please pull up to the window.’ not ‘pull up.’ I found that incredibly rude.”

I go “I’m sorry about that, I didn’t intend for that to be rude, I just meant that it was okay to pull up to the window now.”
“I know what you meant. But it was rude.”
“Well, I apologize. Here’s your bagel, have a great day.”
She goes “I’m a MYSTERY SHOPPER.” (If you don’t have Mystery shoppers where you are, it’s kind of like undercover boss where the store owner hires someone through the Mystery shopper program and they place a regular order just to make sure people are following policy)
I’m like “… ok”

So I’m about to tell my boss and coworker what just happened when she comes in. And I jump to the front counter because no way I’m letting her talk to my boss before I do.

“Hi, can I help you?”
“Yes. This bagel was supposed to be NOT toasted. You toasted it.”
“Ohh, I’m so sorry about that! I didn’t hear that. I’ll make you a new one right now.”
Coworker beats me to the bagel and I say “A little extra cream cheese on that.”
She looks at my boss “She just said a LITTLE cream cheese. I wanted EXTRA cream cheese.”
Boss goes “Oh, she said a little extra cream cheese.”
“Oh”

Boss goes into kiss ass mode as well and says, “I’m sorry about the mistake, would you like a donut?”
Lady goes “I’ve never. Eaten a donut. In my ENTIRE LIFE. and I’m NOT. About to start NOW.”
Boss is like “… ok” and we’re all internally going sdhakgsdgkja?

So we get the bagel out and she says to my boss
“And I have one more thing to say.” She leans in with a sneer. “Mystery shopper.”
boss goes “We don’t do that here.”
“yea you do.”
“No we don’t.”
“yea you do.”
“Have a good day.”

Basically we’re pretty sure the lady was crazy and she was absolutely lying because Mystery shoppers are not allowed to tell you that they’re mystery shoppers, and they aren’t allowed to coach you. And even if she was, “please” is not one of the things they look for. They look for a Greeting, whether or not you repeated the order and the price back, and whether or not you upsold. We haven’t participated in the program in over 7 years.

somedaythiswillbeclever:

elliewilliams:

one-time-i-dreamt:

I was walking around my neighborhood and saw a bunch of police surrounding a small house for a drug bust. As I got closer, I heard the policemen barking aggressively, so naturally I was like, wtf??? And one of them caught my eye and said, “Oh, we’re trying to scare them out of there,” and minutes later a bunch of furries came out the house whimpering and shit.

please sign your posts with your url i refuse to be continuously terrified of humanity by them

frawgs:

dr-hollands:

frawgs:

do i just want dick or do i want love

U can have both!

are u fr?

imaybeuglybutiownadog:

during the day: maannnn i can’t wait to get into bed and sleep tonight

*at night in bed for 5 hours*

bigmoodblr:

gaypeopletwitter:

toopoor-is-my-mom:

Cuties

mexican-super-saiyan:

throatmistress:

She came for his whole LIFE

tainbocuailnge:

bite the vampire first to establish dominance

just-shower-thoughts:

Disney is one of the main companies pushing back public domain laws, but their most successful movies are all based on public domain figures.